OVERVIEW 👀
In this message, Pastor Paul Durbin returns to the relationship series with the one skill he says he left out—love. Drawing from John 1:14, he unpacks what it means that Jesus came "full of grace and truth," and offers a working definition of love: relating to others from the intersection of grace and truth, neither diluted to make room for the other, each expressed to its fullest extent. Using a simple four-quadrant grid, Paul walks through the three counterfeits—legalism, license, and lawlessness—and invites us into the upper-right quadrant where real love actually lives.

178 | Are You Loving From the Intersection of Grace and Truth?
In this message, Pastor Paul Durbin returns to the relationship series with the one skill he says he left out—love. Drawing from John 1:14, he unpacks what it means that Jesus came "full of grace and truth," and offers a working definition of love: relating to others from the intersection of grace and truth, neither diluted to make room for the other, each expressed to its fullest extent. Using a simple four-quadrant grid, Paul walks through the three counterfeits—legalism, license, and lawlessness—and invites us into the upper-right quadrant where real love actually lives.
TIPS 📌
- For the greatest impact, invite a few others to go through this study guide with you.
- You don't need to do every section and question—use what fits your group or season.
- Let the Spirit highlight where to slow down and engage.
ICEBREAKER(S) 🧊
If someone handed you the title "Official Fun Coordinator" for your friend group, would you accept it, run from it, or immediately start a spreadsheet?
BIBLE PASSAGE(S) 📖
John 1:14 — The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Galatians 5:4-9 — 4 You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. 5 For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. 6 For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. 7 You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? 8 That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you. 9 A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough.
1 Corinthians 5:1-2, 6-7 — 1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father's wife. 2 And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have gone into mourning… 6 Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? 7 Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch.
Matthew 24:10-13 — 10 At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, 11 and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. 12 Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, 13 but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.
2 Timothy 1:7 — For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
OBSERVATION 🔎
- In John 1:14, what does it tell us about Jesus that John specifically pairs the words "grace" and "truth" together rather than choosing just one?
- In Galatians 5, what does Paul say actually counts in Christ Jesus, and what warning does he give about "a little yeast"?
- Compare 1 Corinthians 5 and Galatians 5. Both talk about yeast, but they describe two very different problems. What is Paul warning against in each passage?
APPLICATION 👋
- Paul described John 1:14 getting into his spirit as a 12-year-old and shaping him for decades. What Scripture has stuck with you like that, and what has it taught you?
- Paul defined love as "relating to others from the intersection of grace and truth, neither diluted to make room for the other, each expressed to its fullest extent." Which half of that do you tend to dilute—grace or truth? Most of us naturally lean one way, and noticing that lean is the first step toward growth.
- Where in your life do you see the legalism quadrant showing up—expecting perfection and offering little tenderness when people fail? This might show up loudest in marriage, parenting, or the way you talk to yourself.
- Where might the license quadrant be showing up—letting things slide because you don't want to rock the boat or infringe on someone's freedom? License often disguises itself as being "nice" or "chill."
- Have you noticed the lawlessness quadrant creeping in—defining love by whatever the culture says today? It's worth honestly asking where you're taking your cues about love from: Scripture, social media, friends, or a mix.
- Paul said the Holy Spirit gives us "power, love and self-discipline" to live in the upper-right quadrant. Where do you most need the Spirit's help this week to combine grace and truth in a hard relationship? Naming the specific relationship makes it easier to actually pray and act.
- Think about your relationship with God specifically. Are you more resistant to receiving His truth (correction) or His grace (forgiveness)? Both are gifts, and both take humility to receive.
LIVE ON BELAY 🏔️
- Pick one relationship this week where you've been leaning legalistic and intentionally lead with tenderness before you lead with a correction.
- Pick one relationship where you've been leaning toward license and lovingly speak a truth you've been avoiding—drenched in grace, not dropped like a hammer.
- Write out Paul's definition of love and put it somewhere you'll see it daily (bathroom mirror, phone lock screen, dashboard) for the next 30 days.
- Reach out to someone who is walking through a hard failure right now and be the person who shows up with first aid instead of questions.
- Invite one Belay'er into a monthly check-in where you give each other permission to speak grace and truth honestly into each other's lives.
PRAYER 🙏
- Ask God to help you receive both His truth and His grace—not just the one that's easier for you.
- Pray for the Spirit's power to love a specific person from the upper-right quadrant this week.
- Ask God to reveal any "yeast" of legalism or license quietly spreading in your relationships, marriage, or family.
- Thank Jesus for going to the cross as the ultimate expression of grace and truth meeting.
- Pray for our Belay family—that our love for one another would stand firm and not grow cold.
WORSHIP 🙌
OUTLINE 📝
Main Idea:
Real love happens at the intersection of grace and truth—each expressed fully, neither diluted for the other.
Love Defined by Jesus
- John 1:14 — full of grace and truth
- Love as the ultimate expression of both
- The upper-right quadrant
Legalism (Upper Left)
- Expecting perfection, offering little tenderness
- Paul's early marriage story
- Galatians — falling away from grace
- A little yeast spreads
License (Lower Right)
- No expectation others can change; refusing to speak truth
- Patty's love of freedom
- 1 Corinthians — tolerating what even pagans reject
- A little yeast spreads
Lawlessness (Lower Left)
- "Love is love" — a circular, empty definition
- Ever-changing standards, zero tolerance
- Matthew 24 — the love of most grows cold
Standing Firm in Real Love
- The Spirit gives power, love, self-discipline
- Two questions: your relationship with God, your relationships with others
- Communion — grace and truth meeting at the cross
Takeaway:
Move to the upper right—love others the way Jesus loves you, with grace and truth fully alive at the same time.
















