A Complaining Tongue Tells On Us
What our words reveal about our hearts

Paul Durbin • Lead Pastor
May 26, 2026

2 Minute Read

"A complaining tongue reveals an ungrateful heart."

That one stings a little, doesn't it? It's simple, but it lands. Because if we're honest, most of us live in a culture where complaining is just how we talk. Reviews, ratings, group texts, break rooms—complaining is the background music of modern life. And the strange part is, it never actually makes us feel better. It just puts the worst thing front and center and keeps it there.

Paul prays in Colossians 1 that we'd give "joyful thanks to the Father." Joyful thanks. Not polite thanks. Not religious thanks. The kind of gratitude that bubbles up because we actually see what God has done for us. He qualified us. He rescued us. He brought us into the kingdom of His Son. That's a lot to be grateful for before we even get to coffee in the morning.

Here's a small experiment this week: every time you catch yourself starting to complain, pause and name one thing you're grateful for instead. Out loud, if you can. You'll be surprised how quickly your mood shifts—and how quickly the people around you notice.

You can't complain and give thanks at the same time. One of them is going to win. Let it be gratitude.

164 | How Does God Keep Growing You After You Believe?

In this opening message of a six-week series through Colossians, Pastor Paul Durbin walks us through the first 14 verses of Paul's letter and asks a simple but powerful question: how does God's work keep growing in us after we've believed? Drawing from Paul's prayer for the Colossian church, Paul highlights five growth areas the Holy Spirit wants to develop in every follower of Jesus—clarity, strength, gratitude, awareness, and prayerfulness. With warmth, humor, and practical insight, Paul reminds us that spiritual maturity isn't about hard things going away; it's about being rooted deeply enough in Christ to bear more and more fruit, no matter the season.

Paul Durbin • Last Sunday
Stay connected by subscribing below so you never miss an update.

Subscribe to Blog Updates

By subscribing, you agree to receive email communication from Belay. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Up Next
From this Collection: Blog
Currently Reading
May 26, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
A Complaining Tongue Tells On Us
"A complaining tongue reveals an ungrateful heart." That one stings a little, doesn't it? It's simple, but it lands. Because if we're honest, most of us live in a culture where complaining is just how we talk. Reviews, ratings, group texts, break rooms—complaining is the background music of modern life. And the strange part is, it never actually makes us feel better. It just puts the worst thing front and center and keeps it there. Paul prays in Colossians 1 that we'd give "joyful thanks to the Father." Joyful thanks. Not polite thanks. Not religious thanks. The kind of gratitude that bubbles up because we actually see what God has done for us. He qualified us. He rescued us. He brought us into the kingdom of His Son. That's a lot to be grateful for before we even get to coffee in the morning. Here's a small experiment this week: every time you catch yourself starting to complain, pause and name one thing you're grateful for instead. Out loud, if you can. You'll be surprised how quickly your mood shifts—and how quickly the people around you notice. You can't complain and give thanks at the same time. One of them is going to win. Let it be gratitude.gratitude

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

May 26, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
What Used to Level You
The thing that wrecked you three years ago might not have the same power over you today. That's not because life got easier. It's because you got stronger. Paul prays in Colossians 1 that we'd be "strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that we may have great endurance and patience." Notice he doesn't pray that the hard stuff would stop. He prays that we'd be the kind of people who can carry it differently when it comes. That's spiritual maturity. Not a life without setbacks, but a soul that's been quietly reinforced by the Spirit over time. The disappointment that used to take you weeks to recover from now takes days. The criticism that used to ruin your week now rolls off a little quicker. The setback that once made you want to quit—you're still standing. If you're in a hard season right now, don't miss this: God isn't wasting it. He's building something in you. Strength, power, and endurance aren't gifts He drops from the sky—they're grown in the middle of stuff that hurts. And one day, you'll look back and realize what used to level you doesn't anymore. That's grace doing its quiet work. Keep going. You're stronger than you were.

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

May 20, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
Turn and Keep Turning
Following Jesus is not about never stumbling. But it’s often about learning to turn back quickly. All of us mess up. We say things we should not say. We look at things we should not look at. We chase things that cannot give us life. We get selfish, distracted, proud, tired, or just plain foolish. That is not an excuse. It is just honest. But here is the good news: when we do stupid, we do not have to keep doing stupid. Repentance is not a one-time religious word we dust off when life falls apart. It is a daily movement of the heart. We turn from sin and turn toward Jesus. Then, when we drift again, we turn again. And then again. And then again. Not in panic. Not in shame. But in trust. David prayed, “Turn my heart toward your statutes, not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things.” I love that because David knows he needs help. He is not pretending he can muscle his way into holiness. He is asking God to turn him from the inside out. That is where the path of purity really begins. Not with willpower. Not with pretending. Not with hiding. It begins by yielding to Jesus, the One who cleanses us, forgives us, and gives us His life. So today, if the Spirit shows you something, don’t run from Him. Turn toward Him. For more reflection, spend some time with the full sermon and study guide.Turn and Keep Turning

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

May 20, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
The Freedom of a Good Fence
Sometimes the thing that feels like a restriction is actually the thing that helps us run. That sounds backwards, doesn’t it? Most of us hear the word “freedom” and think it means no limits, no boundaries, nobody telling us what to do. But real life teaches us something different. A child on a playground without a fence often stays close to the teacher. But put a fence around that same playground, and suddenly the child runs, explores, climbs, laughs, and plays. That is a pretty good picture of God’s commands. God is not trying to steal life from us. He is not trying to shrink our joy. He is giving us guardrails so we do not drive our lives into the ditch. David says, “I run in the path of your commandments, for you have set my heart free.” That is not a trapped man talking. That is someone who has discovered that surrender to God leads to a deeper kind of freedom. So maybe the question is not, “What can I get away with?” Maybe the better question is, “What guardrails would help me become the person I actually want to be in Jesus?” That may mean a boundary with your phone, a habit, a relationship, your schedule, or what you let into your mind. Not because God is harsh, but because He is good. If you want to keep thinking about this, check out the full sermon and study guide on walking the path of purity.How Do We Stay on the Path of Purity?

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

May 12, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
The Cure for a Self-Absorbed Heart
What if the cure for a self-absorbed heart is a generous one? When Paul wrote to the Corinthians, he'd just spent fifteen chapters (of 1 Corinthians) confronting some serious mess—lawsuits, immorality, even doubts about the resurrection. And then, almost out of nowhere, he pivots in chapter 16 and starts talking about… a collection. For people a thousand miles away. People the Corinthians would never meet, never hear from, never get a thank-you note from. I don't think that pivot was random. I think Paul knew something we forget: one of the surest ways out of our own stuff is to start paying attention to someone else's. Generosity has a way of breaking the gravitational pull of self. It reorients our hearts. It reminds us we're part of something bigger than our own bank accounts and our own backyard. I remember the first time Patty and I gave away money I really wanted to keep. It was guitar money—mine—and the Lord nudged me to give it to a friend so he could buy a bass. It hurt a little. But when I saw his face the next day, something cracked open in me. Money lost a little bit of its grip, and joy moved in. That's what missional giving does. It loosens what's tight in us and makes room for God to work. If you want to hear more, listen to the full sermon or dig into the study guide—and ask Him where He might be inviting you to look beyond yourself this week.View Media

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

May 3, 2026 • 2 Minute Read
The Book of Acts Ends on an Adverb
The book of Acts ends on an adverb. Seriously. Luke—one of the most careful, polished writers in the early church—stops his story mid-sentence on the word "unhindered." Paul is under house arrest, the verdict is unclear, the churches are scattered, and Luke just… puts the pen down. It feels like a mistake. But I think it's actually the point. The story wasn't over when Luke stopped writing. It still isn't. The Spirit who came at Pentecost, the gospel that cut three thousand people to the heart, the unnamed men and women from Cyprus who just started talking about Jesus to their neighbors—that whole movement keeps going. And somewhere in the middle of it is you and me. I think a lot of us read the Bible like it's a closed book about people who lived a long time ago. But Acts refuses to let us do that. It hands us the pen. It says: keep writing. Keep walking. Keep telling people about Jesus in your kitchen, on your hike, at the coffee shop, in the carpool line. You don't need a title or a platform. The gospel reached the Gentiles because of people Luke didn't even bother to name. That's encouraging to me. The story of Jesus at work in the world has always moved forward on the backs of regular people who simply stayed devoted and stayed available. So—where are you in the story right now? Name it. Tell someone. And then take the next small step. This thought is based on this recent sermon by Kevan Ho:View Media

Kevan Ho