The Infinite Abyss

Why nothing seems to fill the empty space

Paul Durbin • Lead Pastor
October 1, 2026

2 Minute Read

Think about that for a second.

The ache you feel on a Sunday night.
The restlessness that shows up right when life is supposed to be going well.
The weird dissatisfaction after you finally got the thing you'd been chasing.

That's not a glitch. That's a signpost. Pascal said we keep "seeking in things that are not there the help we cannot find in those that are."

Augustine put it simpler: "You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you."

Your heart isn't broken because it keeps feeling empty. Your heart is doing exactly what God built it to do—refusing to be satisfied with anything less than Him.

So maybe the goal this week isn't to fill the abyss. Maybe it's to stop trying so hard. To get quiet. To let the restlessness lead you back to the only One big enough to fit the space He made.

180 | What Is in Your Heart?

In week two of our Ecclesiastes series, Paul Durbin walks us through chapters three and four, unpacking four things in every human heart: a sense of eternity, a deep craving for justice, a struggle with sin, and a longing for relationship. These inner realities are more than quirks of being human—they're signposts pointing us straight to God. When we stop ignoring them and start following where they lead, we find hope for eternity, justice satisfied in Jesus, freedom from sin, and the relationship our restless hearts were made for.

Paul Durbin • 9/27/2026

Stay connected by subscribing below so you never miss an update.

Subscribe to Blog Updates

Up Next

From this Collection: Blog

Currently Reading

October 1, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

The Infinite Abyss

Blaise Pascal said it four hundred years ago, and it still lands: there's an "infinite abyss" inside every one of us. An empty print. A trace of something we lost. And we spend most of our lives trying to fill it with things that were never going to work. Think about that for a second. The ache you feel on a Sunday night. The restlessness that shows up right when life is supposed to be going well. The weird dissatisfaction after you finally got the thing you'd been chasing. That's not a glitch. That's a signpost. Pascal said we keep "seeking in things that are not there the help we cannot find in those that are." Augustine put it simpler: "You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you." Your heart isn't broken because it keeps feeling empty. Your heart is doing exactly what God built it to do—refusing to be satisfied with anything less than Him. So maybe the goal this week isn't to fill the abyss. Maybe it's to stop trying so hard. To get quiet. To let the restlessness lead you back to the only One big enough to fit the space He made.heart

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

September 26, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

When Life Doesn't Add Up

Sometimes life just doesn't add up. The healthy person gets sick. The generous person gets overlooked. The kid who did everything right ends up hurting. Ecclesiastes has a word for that: hevel. Hevel is not just vapor, but an enigma. A puzzle. The stubborn reality that the world doesn't always work the way we think it should. Here's what I love about the Bible: it doesn't pretend. It doesn't tell us to slap a smile on our confusion or spiritualize away our grief. It hands us a whole book—Ecclesiastes—that basically says, "Yeah. Some of this is really hard. Some of it won't be figured out this side of eternity." And yet. The same Bible tells us that God didn't stay at a distance from all that hevel. He stepped into it. Jesus entered the human story—the suffering, the injustice, the tears at gravesides—and carried it all the way to a cross. He knows what it feels like when things aren't right. And he's the only one who can actually make what's crooked straight. So if you're in a season where the math isn't working, you're in good company. You don't have to force it to make sense before you can bring it to God. Just bring it. He can handle your questions. He's already in the middle of your mess.hevel

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

September 19, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

What Is a Christian Mentor?

We weren't meant to follow Jesus alone. From the very beginning, God designed the Christian life to be walked together. Jesus did it with the Twelve. Paul did it with Timothy. Elizabeth did it with Mary. Over and over in Scripture, we see the same pattern: someone a little further down the road walking alongside someone a little earlier in the journey. That's the heart of Christian mentoring — and it usually starts with one person: a mentor. So What Is a Christian Mentor, Exactly? A Christian mentor is a more mature believer who intentionally invests in the spiritual growth of another. They're not a counselor. Not a therapist. Not a teacher. And definitely not someone with all the answers. They're simply this: a trusted friend who helps you take your next step with Jesus. A good mentor might help you: Grow in prayer, Scripture, and other spiritual disciplines Work through a hard season with wisdom and perspective Discover and use your spiritual gifts Navigate big decisions — vocation, relationships, family Break patterns that keep you stuck Grow in Christlike character The goal isn't information. It's transformation. Why It Matters Left to ourselves, we tend to drift. We settle. We get stuck in the same patterns and wonder why nothing changes. A mentor changes that. They notice what we miss. They ask the questions we'd rather avoid. They cheer us on when we want to quit. And they remind us of who we are in Christ when we forget. Proverbs puts it plainly: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). You were never meant to grow alone. And you don't have to. Your Next Step At Belay, we're in the early stages of building a mentoring ministry — and we'd love to know if this is something you'd want to be part of. In the meantime, we're happy to connect you 1:1 with someone who can walk with you now. If you're interested — even just curious — reach out to leadership.

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

September 9, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

Full of Grace and Truth

When I was about 12 years old, sitting on a couch in Montana with a Bible open in my lap, a verse I was studying for a Bible quiz club caught my attention: "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us… full of grace and truth." (John 1:14). I didn't have the words for it back then, but something in my spirit knew that phrase mattered. Grace and truth. Two things that felt almost like opposites. Grace sounded like God just letting stuff slide. Truth sounded like God calling out every failure. How could Jesus be full of both, all the time? It took me years to see it. Grace and truth aren't opposites—they're the two ingredients of real love. Grace says, "I love you exactly as you are." Truth says, "And I love you way too much to leave you there." Take either one away and what you're left with isn't love anymore. It's either license or legalism. That's what makes Jesus so stunning. He never dilutes one to make room for the other. He gives us the full weight of grace and truth — every second and every conversation. Which ingredient is harder for you to receive today—His grace, or His truth?intersection

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

August 26, 2026 • 1 Minute Read

God Provided a Worm

I love that in Jonah 4, God speaks through a plant, a worm, and a hot wind. No burning bush. No booming voice from heaven. Just a leafy plant that gave shade, a worm that ate it, and a scorching east wind that made Jonah miserable. Each one carried a message. Each one was God saying something Jonah needed to hear. And Jonah mostly missed it because he was too busy pouting to pay attention. I've never heard God's audible voice. Maybe you haven't either. But I've had a lot of "worm moments"—the thing that fell apart, the door that closed, the conversation that stung, the hike where my backpack was adjusted all wrong. And when I slow down enough to actually listen, God's usually been talking the whole time. Here's the thing: God is not silent. He's just often quieter than we expect, and He tends to speak through the situations we're most tempted to complain about. The breakup. The lost job. The hard week. The unexpected delay. So today, instead of asking, "Why is this happening?" try asking, "God, what are You saying through this?" You might be surprised how loud a worm can talk.worm

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

August 21, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

Which Kind of Upside Down?

When Jonah walked into Nineveh, he proclaimed a word that carried two very different futures: הָפַךְ (haphak). It can mean "demolished." It can also mean "turned upside down." Jonah 3:4 (NIV) Jonah began by going a day’s journey into the city, proclaiming, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be הָפַךְ (haphak).” Same word. Two outcomes. The Ninevites got to choose which one landed on them. And so do we. Here's what I love about that Hebrew word. God's warnings are never just threats—they're always invitations. He tells us the truth about where our path leads, not to scare us, but to wake us up. Because the same power that could level a life can also transform one. The same word that spells destruction can spell rebirth. That's the gospel in a single word. So the real question isn't whether God will turn things upside down. He will. The question is which kind of upside down you want. The kind that ends in rubble? Or the kind that ends in resurrection—where the old you is undone and a new you comes to life? Nineveh chose the good kind. The king traded his robes for sackcloth and said, essentially, "Undo us, God." And God did. Not with destruction, but with mercy. Today, that same invitation is on the table. Undo me, Lord. Turn me upside down.haphak

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

August 21, 2026 • 1 Minute Read

The Master Re-Router

Ever muted Google Maps, missed your turn, then unmuted it—half-expecting the voice to say, "Way to go, loser, now you’ll never get to your destination"? It never does. It just calmly states on the screen , "Rerouting." Here's the good news: Google Maps didn't invent rerouting. God did. And He's really, really good at it. When Jonah ran the opposite direction from Nineveh, God didn't scrap the plan. He didn't yank the mission and hand it to someone else. He simply came back a second time and said, "Okay, let's go." Jonah 3 opens with maybe the most hopeful phrase in the Bible: "Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time." If you've been sitting on a missed turn—a decision you regret, a call you ran from, a season you wasted—hear this: your wrong turns are not the end of your story. God doesn't just reroute you, He folds those detours into the recipe. You are not off the map. He is speaking a second time. Maybe today's the day to listen.nav

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

August 14, 2026 • 1 Minute Read

You Can't Climb Out With Full Hands

Picture yourself at the bottom of a well. The only way out is to climb. Now imagine your hands and pockets are stuffed with stuff you picked up down there. You'd never make it out. That's the picture Jonah gives us: "Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God's love for them." (Jonah 2:8) Idols aren't just carved statues of gold and silver. They're the things we grab onto when God feels far—an identity, a relationship, a comfort, a grudge, a mindset we've carried since childhood. They feel valuable. They feel like ours. But they're weighing us down, and they can't save us. Here's the interesting part: God usually doesn't rip these things out of our hands. He asks us to let go. He invites us to open our fingers and drop what we've been white-knuckling. And in the letting go, we make room for the One who can actually lift us up. So today, ask Him honestly: What am I still holding onto that's keeping me stuck? Then open your hands. You'll be surprised how much lighter the climb gets when you're not carrying what was never meant to save you.mess

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

August 4, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

You're Not Rebelling In A Vacuum

Imagine you’re on the boat with Jonah. A storm is tearing the boat apart, cargo is flying overboard, and hardened sailors are crying out to whatever gods they can name—all because one guy (Jonah) said “no” to God. Jonah wasn't rebelling in a vacuum. He never is. And neither are we. I think one of the sneakiest lies of American life is that our choices are just ours. My decisions, my body, my life, my business. But Scripture tells a different story. Your yes to God brings life to your spouse, your kids, your neighbors, your Belay community. Your no sends a different kind of ripple—one that makes their ride a lot rougher than it needed to be. That's not meant to shame you. It's meant to wake you up to how much your obedience matters. There are people in your life right now who are waiting on your yes—maybe without even knowing it. A kid who needs to see you repent. A friend who needs to hear you say, "I was wrong." A coworker who needs to see what surrender actually looks like. So here's a thought to chew on today: what would change for the people you love if you finally said yes to the thing God's been asking you to do? You might be surprised how many storms calm down when one person stops running.say yes

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

July 25, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

Is Your Speech Salty Enough?

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt." (Colossians 4:6) I love that Paul used salt as the picture. Because salt does four things—and they all say something about how we're supposed to talk. Salt is savory. It makes bland things delightful. Salt adds value—it was so precious in the ancient world that people used it as currency (that's actually where the word "salary" comes from). Salt limits decay. And salt makes you thirsty. So here's the question worth chewing on: When people walk away from a conversation with you, what do they feel? Do they feel like their time was worth it? Do they feel like something in them woke up? Do they leave a little more thirsty for Jesus—even if they can't quite name why? Most of us don't think about our conversations that carefully. We just talk. But the people around you—your coworker, your neighbor, the barista, your kids—they're eating whatever you're serving. And Paul says: make it worth their time. You don't have to preach. You don't have to have all the right verses ready. Just let your words carry a little of Jesus with them. A little grace. A little truth. A little salt. People are hungry. And your conversation might be the meal.Salt

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

July 18, 2026 • 2 Minute Read

Finding Freedom

Finding Freedom If you're reading this, maybe you've been carrying something heavy for a long time. Maybe it's a habit that started small and grew into something you can't seem to shake. Maybe it's pornography. Maybe it's an online world you keep slipping back into, even when you swore you were done. First, hear this: you are not beyond help, and you are not beyond grace. At Belay, we believe the gospel meets us right where we are — not where we pretend to be. Jesus didn't come for people who have it all together. He came for the tired, the ashamed, the stuck. That includes you. That includes all of us. The Truth About This Struggle Online addiction — especially pornography — thrives in secret. It whispers that you're the only one, that no one would understand, that you should just try harder next time. But willpower alone rarely wins this fight. What actually helps is a combination of honest community, real accountability, and the transforming work of Christ. You don't have to figure this out by yourself. In fact, you can't. And that's okay. Two Resources We Trust I want to point you toward two organizations that have helped many people take real steps toward freedom: Pure Life Ministries Pure Life specializes in helping men and women overcome sexual sin and addiction through a Christ-centered approach. They offer: Online counseling programs you can do from home A residential program for those who need a deeper reset A free app and podcast with daily encouragement and teaching Whether you're just starting to admit there's a problem or you've tried everything and feel hopeless, they have a next step for you.Pure Life Ministries Accountable2You Real change requires real transparency. Accountable2You is a digital accountability tool that monitors your devices and shares reports with people you trust. It's for anyone serious about walking in purity, integrity, and honesty — husbands, wives, students, pastors, anyone. Secrecy feeds addiction. Accountability starves it.Accountable2you If you're struggling, please don't stay silent. Reach out to me, to a trusted friend, or to one of the resources above. Take one step today — even a small one. Freedom often starts with a single honest conversation. You are loved. You are seen. And there is a way forward. "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." — John 8:36

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

June 23, 2026 • 1 Minute Read

The Ship Is Already Full

Paul used a word in Colossians that I love: pleroma. It described a cargo ship loaded so full you couldn't squeeze one more crate on board without sinking it. That's the picture he uses for what we have in Jesus. Full. Maxed out. Complete. And then he says something almost startling: try to add anything to that, and you're not improving the trip—you're sinking the ship. I get why we try. Our brains keep whispering that the gospel is too simple. Surely there's more we need to do, feel, prove, or perform. So we start stacking extras on the deck. A little legalism here. A flashy spiritual experience there. A nice coat of cultural respectability on top. Before long, the boat's groaning, and we're wondering why our faith feels heavy instead of free. Here's the good news today: you don't have to earn what you already have. If Jesus is in you, the cargo hold is full. You're not behind. You're not lacking. You're not one more discipline, conference, or experience away from being a real Christian. Just sail. Trust the Captain. Enjoy the fullness.ship

Paul Durbin

Lead Pastor

Cookie Policy • Privacy

Belay